Hallo Readers,
This week, the political world was revisited by two people you thought had gone for good. Think Glenn Close in Fatal Attraction leaping out of the shower and running amok around Michael Douglas’ apartment. This stuff was truly X-rated. First we had the return of Boris Johnson, who was forced to leave his 400-year old moated manor house to give evidence at the Covid Inquiry in London. To mark the seriousness of the occasion, Johnson had acquired a new mop to stick on his head and seemed to have found a clean shirt. He started by making a fulsome apology for his errors, but when pressed by the Inquiry’s KC, Hugo Keith, for examples of the things for which he was apologising, Johnson look blank, then shifty, then blank again and declined to condescend to specifics. It served only to remind you of how completely unfit he was for high office, let alone that office. Cometh the hour, cometh the idiot.
Meanwhile, across town, yet another monster who was supposed to be done for popped up to wreak havoc upon those who had wronged her. WTF speaks of former home secretary but one, Suella Braverman, who was making her revenge tour, like a demented and bloodthirsty Taylor Swift. First stop was the House of Commons, where departed ministers are entitled to give a speech excoriating the person who sacked them, in this case Rishi Sunak, who had showed her the door several weeks ago, the move that led to the gormless James Cleverly shunted into the Home Office to make room for another shocking return, ‘Lord’ David Cameron. On Monday, Cleverly had just introduced a new treaty with Rwanda where, as far as WTF can see, that country will get even more of our money for processing a handful of asylum seekers who, even if they were entitled to asylum in Great Britain, will not get it and would have to seek asylum in Rwanda instead with no right of appeal. Cleverly, whose very name is an oxymoron, admitted this broke international law. Furthermore, the government now intended to get around the Supreme Court concerns that Rwanda was not a safe country by passing an act which declared that it was a safe country ,so that the Supreme Court could not say that it was not, even though it isn’t. This interesting legislative development has got legs. It is the Westminster equivalent of turning water into wine. But this was not enough for Braverman, who gave us the greatest hits from her barking mad letter to Sunak after getting the push, and spoke of her vision for stopping the boats and shipping immigrants, legal or otherwise, off to Rwanda. The Human Rights Act and the ECHR had got to go, with their pernickety concerns about the right to a fair trial and the right to family life. The right wing headbangers on the back benches lapped it up. People then noticed that the Immigration Minister, pipsqueak Robert Jenrick, was nowhere to be seen, which was because he had jumped ship and gone to join Braverman and the headbangers. So now we have more change in the Home Office, more unrest on the Government benches and more mutterings that Sunak has Got To Go. Yes, another shitshow. It has been at least a fortnight since the last one. This lot are truly the turkeys who are voting for an early Christmas.
********************************************************************************
We start our review of the week’s clothing crap with actor Colman Domingo at the premiere of the remake of The Colour Purple wearing Louis Vuitton.
≈
What the fuck are those trousers? They are baggy enough for the whole cast of the movie to climb into, like wine-coloured jumbo sleeping bags, and they have crotch curtain pulls! Crotch curtain pulls are a new one on WTF. As for the pointy Louboutin bootees, they are a fast track to bunions. Call the podiatrist!
And here is pouty actor and singer Jennifer Lopez out and about with her husband Ben Affleck at the Elle Women in Hollywood Awards. JLo is wearing Grace Li.
The abs are enviable in a woman of any age, let alone hers, but she looks like Xena the Warrior Princess after a sudden growth spurt.
What happens if she wants to scratch her nose or reach out towards a canapé ?(I know, I know, a canapé is unlikely). Presumably, that is why she has brought Ben. Better that he moves his arms than she does or appalled onlookers would be getting a major eyeful.
The rest of our nonsense comes from the British Fashion Awards in London, beginning with singer Rita Ora wearing Primark. From the front, this is a perfectly normal long black dress. But from the back….
Poor Rita seems to have been the victim of Freddy Kruger and the marks of his chainsaw attack upon her are still visible. Someone dial 911 – stat!
This is German model Kim Hnizdo wearing Diesel.
Er…… she is a wearing a nude slip and someone has taken a shocking pink sharpie and drawn on a minge-baring bikini pant and half cup top. And called it fashion. The correct word for future reference is doodling…
This is designer Nikita Karizma wearing something of her own design…..
Is the lobster part of the dress or has she brought her dinner with her in case she felt peckish? Where does she keep the Thermidor sauce? That thing must also be very ticklish……,
Here is singer Sam Smith wearing Vivienne Westwood.
Hate, hate, hate the boots, hate the tights over hairy legs, hate the Sir Francis Drake meets Melanie Griffith in Working Girl vibe. Hate it. The end.
Actor and former model Wallis Day went off to the afterparty dressed like this…..
She is a perambulating red rope fence with tits and a hijab.
And finally, we have Vivienne Westwood’s widower, designer Andreas Kronthaler and Dame Viv’s granddaughter, model Cora Corré.
This is not how a step-granddad and step-granddaughter usually look out on a night out. Andreas looks seedy as fuck and her panties are showing. If King Charles were to borrow a pair of Camilla’s slippers and a pair of her pop socks and kidnap Lucia di Lammamoor, this is what he would look like.
OK Readers, that’s your lot for this week. Please keep sending in your suggestions for It’s Got To Go (no time this week) and your top comments, which WTF likes more than anything. Let us meet again next Friday. Be good x